Prayer (Updated 04/14/09)

Sometimes saying the prayer is not enough for me I need to write it out and visualize those words reaching my God in heaven. Feel free to write your prayers as well. Pray for me and I shall pray for all of you.

8-05-08: Heavenly father tomorrow is a very important day for me. I have to represent my team and present to the important members of the company. I know my material and yet I am making myself nervous and worrisome over it. I want you to come into my mind and cleanse me of any fears or nervous tension. Stand beside me and guide me as I present. Allow to be eloquent and reach my audience with wisdom and charisma. I don’t want to let my team down and I don’t want to let myself down. Therefore Lord be my strength if I stumble. Let me remember the words, transition, and changes I need to do during the presentation. Let me be able to come back to you and say Glory be to thy name for you are magnificent in your love. Be with me as I sleep let me wake up confident and ready to rock the presentation. Let me not forget anything and do it even better than the practice session today. I trust in your father always…AMEN.

8-28-08: My God can you hear my heart? If you can then these words are unnecessary but I must write them for my own comfort. When you gave us life did you intend for us to be affected by each other so deeply? It seems that I have time on my head to think and when I begin to think I become this melancholy person. I am so lost inside of myself that the surface is barely visible. Lord this internal suffering inside of me is achingly miserable. Am I the cause of it? Won’t you show me the light out of this darkness. I feel this coldness surrounding me leaving no room for warmth. There is emptiness inside of me. I don’t understand this life that you gave me, maybe my time to understand is in the future. As of now I question the meaning of my existence. What am I supposed to be doing with this life? Who am I supposed to be in this life? You gave us choices and I don’t know if mine are the right ones. You gave me existence but I have no idea what my life holds for this world.

My mind is a jumble of questions, wishes, insecurties, and pain. I feel like I am a shadow roaming through life never really being seen or existing like the others. I just need a sign from you that my life is more than this, that there is brightness after the darkness that has prevailed for so long. Lord, I am not ungrateful for you. You are my comfort, confidante, and the only father I have. Please make your presence clear to me. I wish to feel the peace of having you by my side. I want that warmth, the reassurance, the tranquility that comes from your existence in my life. I trust you, I believe in you, do you believe in me? Do you see me laying here waiting for you to pick me up and bring me close to your side? Being alone with all these thoughts is painful. Won’t you share my mind and see what lies inside of me?

I cannot tell anyone what lingers in the recesses of my soul because they wouldn’t understand. I feel restrained and unable to break free. The chains might be invisible to the world but they are clear to me. Lord my mind needs clarity and peace, will you provide it to me? Will you stand beside me and calm my raging soul? Will you ease the troubles in my heart? I pray to you, please don’t let go of my hand.

Show me what I must do to move past these shadows and stand in the light. Show me how to let go of things that are not meant for me. Show me how to recognize what is mine to claim. I pray that you close my heart to feelings that are not real. I pray that you show me the truth to my feelings. Is he worthty of me? If not give me the strength to let go of him, and move towards my true love.

10/5/08: Trust…it is hard to trust someone that I cannot see or feel. It is hard to trust my heart, my soul, your words, your promises…but I am trying to. I pray Lord for your patience with me. I pray for your mercy upon my life and the lives of those I love. Give me time, I have drifted from you but I am finding my own way back towards you. Guide me in that journey so that I do not fall into the wrong path. I lean on you and believe in you. I won’t try and do things on my own anymore because I trust that you are walking beside me. That your presence exists where I do and will always be. I know you have my life figured out and I ask that the journey not be filled with many obstacles. Lord, I pray that on January 31st I get a yes, and from March-May, I get a yes. Lord let the decision not be a maybe or a no but a yes to  me, my dream, my experiences, my truth, my life. I pray that my heart’s desire is one that you agree with and that you open up the doors to get me there. Lord let me go to learn, teach, find, create, and be. Please Lord, let this be where the next chapter of my life starts. I pray that you guide my application towards those who will say yes to me and that this door will be fully opened to me. I place my future in your hands and know that you will choose what it best for me. I know what I want but it might differ from you…show me Lord if this is the right path to take. Let me know if I am making the right decision…and Lord just guide my path.

10/27/08:Heavenly father, I come to you broken and scarred from this world. Lord take me into your arms and let me feel your warmth seep into me. Lord I keep faltering, I keep falling and one day I don’t know if I will be able to get up again. Lord the tears are endless and Iam so tired of this cycle of sorrow. Lord make it stop, make the thoughtsstop, make the worries stop, make it all stop. Lord take me away from this world and its torment and let me rest by your side. Lord fill me up with your loe and help me to overcome this pain. Lord there is so much going on with me and you are the only person I can turn to, your the only one who listen and can hear the shattering of my heart. Lord I am a mess. I am falling to pieces and cannot figure out how to put myself together. Lord I don’t want to be one my own. I  want you by my side, Lord help me. Lord show me the way, if Iam blind to it please open my eyes. Lord heal me. My wounds are not of the flesh but of the soul. A place only you can go to and see. Lord take my broken pieces and fix them. Lord take my scars and make them disappear.

Lord I have fallen so far that I cannot rise without your help. Please take me Lord..take me to a better place and heal me.

12/25/08: Dear Lord I have been afraid to share my worries with you and my dreams for fear that you disagree, for fear of saying the words and making my worries bigger. I don’t want to hide from you. Not you, I do not want to hide my soul from you, nor my heart, nor my mind. They are all yours to look at and through.

In my heart I know that I am at a point in my life where I cannot stay where I am without suffocating. I need a change, I need to go away, I need to find what I lost, and create something new. I need to challenge myself, hurt a little, and experience so much more. Do you see? Do you see me as I am seeing me, are you listening to me my Father? In my heart, I feel like South Korea is where I need to go, where I want to go, it is the voyage of youth I need to take to go into the next step in my life. I pray and I hope that you feel the same way. If not Lord, show me, tell me, make it clear to me what I should be doing if not going to South Korea.

Lord, I pray to you on January 31st, 2009 let it be a day of rejoicing and testimony. I pray Lord, that I am on the short list of applicants and I pray Lord that I get to be one of the winners come March-April. Lord, you know my heart please let me be on that plane come July going to South Korea. Going onto a new chapter in my life, a new journey, and starting to figure out my life and filling in the missing pieces.

I pray to you Lord, that come May I become a college graduate and that I have my family around me to see my success. I know you will be looking down at me from heaven, let your light shine down upon me that day and let your warmth carry me through the end of this chapter and onto a new one.

Lord, I pray that your light shine down upon my family, keeping them safe, keeping them healthy, and leading them towards the destinies you have in store for them. Lord, I trust you, I believe in you, and I love you. Please be their shield when I am not around ,and heal their wounds, and give them strength and wisdom to see better days.

I pray Lord that you are always beside me as my Father, Friend…my everything. Lord, I pray that all the suffering of the past and the present fades away into a beautiful future for all of us. Full of love, laughter…so much laughter, and peace. Let peace rain down on us like angels.

Let me see Xmas 2009 in South Korea, let me be healthy, happy, and enveloped in love. Lord, lead my life for my existence is yours to use. I trust you, have faith in you, and know that you will not stray me down the wrong path.

Thank you Lord,

01-14-09: Dear Lord, can you see me sitting in this dark room with my tear-stained smile. Sometimes I get so filled with fear and doubt that is paralyzes me and makes me feel unsure. But then I think of you and I find hope again. I think of how you have held my hand all this time and I know that you will never let go of me. Lord, you are the only father I know, your the only father I can depend on. I feel scared for myself, my my mom, for my family. Lord, why is it so hard. When I think about my mom my heart feels like it is going to break. I trust you Lord but sometimes it is so hard not to doubt. Please, I prayed to you that 2009 would be a year of blessings in our household. A year of positive change in my household. A year of new beginnings, new opportunities, and so much happiness we don’t know where to put it all.

Lord, I need you! I need you so much. I need you every second of every moment of everyday of my life. I need you to be my heavenly father. I need you to protect me, to encourage me, to hold my hand and guide me, to challenge me, but most of all I need you to show me that it will all be okay. Sometimes I think about death and how it can take away the people you love in an instant. Lord, I believe in you but please for now please keep my family intact. Keep my mom so that she can see all of us settled and married and happy. Keep my sister and brother so that we can grow old as a family. Lord, I need them and I just cannot imagine living in this world without them. I trust you, I love you, and I need you Lord to be here for me.

There is no one on this earth in my life that I can share this with but you. No one can see my tears or my weakness but you. No one accepts all of me but you. Never let go of me Lord because I am desperate for you. Lord, you know my heart and I pray to you with all that is in me to take control of every situation and lead me to the life you have planned for me. Give me a sign to let me know you hear me and let me know where I should go and what I should do. You have all the keys to my closed doors…open them and heal the wounds inside. I pray Lord that you bring people into my life that will see my shadows and accept me, every single part of me. Lord, I am waiting to find that person you created just for me. I want that person who I can talk to. I mean really talk to and most of all Lord I want to be free. I want to fly high and free towards my destiny. Will you be the wind that carries me there? Your the only one that can lift me high and set me free.

01-26-09: Dear Lord, this is the big week that decides so much of my future plans. I pray Lord that you fulfill this desire of my heart. Let me hear a big and great yes from Fulbright and then in the second round Lord please let me be triumphant and give testimony to your greatness and love upon my life. Lord, I am a bundle of nerves. I ask you to give me calm and grace to see me through no matter what happens. You know my heart Lord, you know my dream, see me throught it and let me come out better for it. Please be with my mother Lord, I am begging you to stay by her side and protect her from all and every evil. Let her find happiness and peace in this life. AMEN.

03/27/09: Lord, I feel like I am drifting farther and farther away from you when I only want to stay beside you. I know it is me, there is something pulling at me and I am doing things I regret. I don’t want to be like this but I just feel tired all the time. I just want to sleep…I don’t know if it is all due to the anemia but I have very little energy. I just wish time could stop to give me a moment to get my head above water. Lord, I pray that these last few weeks of college are filled with strength, positive change/energy, and the promise of a bright future ahead of me. I pray that graduation is a blessed day filled with laughter, love, and triumph. I pray that my mom can stand proudly as she sees me take my diploma.

Lord, don’t give up on me. Help me to snap out of this tiredness and find my strength again.

04/09/09: Heavenly father, thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving me life, health, love, and many opportunities. My heart is beating inside of my chest, can you hear it? There is this nervous tension inside of me. In a few weeks I will be a college graduate thanks to your mercy and grace upon my life. I pray that my future is led by you into wonderful places. I pray that everything works out and in August I get on that plan to go to South Korea for the next year. I pray that this decision and this opportunity is where I am supposed to be. I pray that everything I am wanting to get out of this path comes true. I want to come back a stronger, wiser, and more happy person. Lord, I need to know that you are in this with me. Stand beside me Lord and let me feel your warmth and strength. I pray Lord that you hold me close to you and let me breathe in your sweetness. I pray Lord that you keep me healthy and safe. That you protect my family and lead us into a brighterr future. I don’t need perfection Lord, I just need harmony and laughter. I am standing here Lord breating your fragrance in. Please let me feel your presence. Help me to get through these last few weeks of college and help me to carve a future for myself. One that is right and just for me.

04/14/09: Dear Lord I can feel the tension inside of me growing as Wednesday comes closer. Lord,  to say I am not nervous would be a lie. I am nervous and I am scared. I am scared to believe that I will get exactly what I want because two rejections have already come my way. I pray Lord that this time this is the right path, the right way, and the right opportunity for me. I pray that you fill me with calm and grace during my interview. That your presence is with me reminding me that it will all be okay no matter the outcome. I pray Lord that this works out and I get on that plane in August and that my life changes in so many wonderful and unexpected ways. I pray that I am always safe, and that I am surrounded by caring individuals. That no one will take advantage of me and that I stay far away from any danger. Lord, let this be my path and let it be the right road I should take.

I am yours Lord to command and I just hope Lord that your will is the same as mine. Hold my hand tomorrow Lord and be my voice, my thoughts, and let them choose me.

AMEN

Be A Light In The Dark

The Hope Notes Project

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3 Responses to “Prayer (Updated 04/14/09)”

  1. Heavenly father please hear the words i speak to you, i pray for the ones in need i pray for just about everyone, i pray for your mercy, but most of all i pray for the one, my only one. i pray that you be with him daily, and hear is petitions, for he can only pray away. i know if its your will, he will be soon here for me to hold, i know he’s sinned, but please forgive, i truly miss him. amen.
    i hope your thing went well, i believe you have much strength and courage girl!

  2. For more than a year now, I’ve been feeling not too physically and emotionally sound; pains, fever, I’ve done HIV test five times and all zero-negative, lab test said its resistant Malaria- some doctors said I should keep on treating till the day it will go away and a Man of GOD said it’s an evil attack from someone but all I truly want is my wealth of good health back-the very one GOD gave me and assured me I can peacefully keep, please.

  3. thank you

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