Each New Year Brings Hope & Meaning…

I was reading over my 2010 posts and as I read through them I just felt a bittersweet lump of emotion inside of me. I’m happy for all the things I accomplished and conquered, but I am sad for all the things I didn’t. Like 2010, I aspire to make 2011 a year of no resolutions, just change. For 2011 to be a year that I continue to forge the life I want for myself.  To seek out and create my happiness.  To always try, no matter how afraid I am or how much I doubt myself I want to be able to say at least I tried which is so much more than doing nothing. I’ve got no big goals or battles to fight.

All I need and all I really want is to find and keep daily happiness in my life. To create the present I want that leads me to the future I desire. I’ve spent the last year living abroad, and it has been the best decision I ever made for me. I want to continue to trust myself and choose the paths I want to travel on. To be the one holding the pen as my life gets written down in the pages of life. Chapter by chapter I want to be the writer, the pen, the ink, the pages. I want to be the one who creates and writes my story. I don’t want to give that honor to anyone else. This is my story, and I should tell it.

Dear Me:

I sit here in my apartment writing to the you that will be me in 2011. Whenever you find yourself reading these words I hope that you are in a happy place. I hope that this new year has been beautiful in every way and that you are continuing to try no matter what fears or worries try to hold you back. If for some reason you find yourself sad, afraid, or overwhelmed please take a deep breath and remember how far you’ve come already. Please give yourself that credit, because you deserve it, and you are worthy of it. My hope for you in 2011 is that you are happy in your daily life. That you choose to find rainbows in the darkness, and slivers of happiness wherever you go. I hope you are living the life you imagine for yourself as each day unfolds. I hope you are being kind to yourself. That you take the time to love, cherish, and acknowledge the beauty that is you.

Right now it is 4:17 PM on December 30, 2010 and you just put on Brendan James “Different Kind Of Love” on. It’s chilly today with all the snow, and you feel happy because it is sunny outside and that brightens up your heart. In a few weeks you’ll be going home for a visit. I hope you find some answers when you go back as to where  you want to end up after you go back home from here. I know you feel like you don’t belong there, so I hope you find a place that makes you feel like you do, and with people who make you feel at home. I hope you are looking in grad school and finding one that feel just right for you. I know you’ll do well and that you will be able to help people like you, who have found themselves in the Darkness at one point and haven’t found their way out. Believe in yourself. I know that you have something wonderful to offer them. Be the voice they can trust, count on, believe in, and seek out to find their way to safe shores. You will do amazing, so trust in that, trust in yourself, and let the details come together in their own time.

I hope you are continuing to explore more parts of the world. That you are taking risks, having adventures and experiences you never dreamed would happen. Don’t stay in the comfort of your box for there is a whole world out there waiting for you to discover and explore it. Don’t get lazy and sit life out, because it won’t wait for you and I really don’t want you to get left behind. Also, don’t let Sadness have its way with you. You are stronger and wiser than it so don’t let it fool you into wallowing in it. Seriously, you need to remember to smile and laugh everyday. To choose Happiness over Sadness any and every day. I need you to be happy. I need you to find joy in your daily life. I need you to be healthy in body, mind, and soul. Those three go hand in hand so take care of all three of them.

I hope that you aren’t holding on to a certain person who broke your heart. Please don’t let him steal anymore time from your happiness. Don’t fill anymore pages of your story with him. It’s finished so let it die the death it deserves. Don’t dig it back up so it can rot your life some more. Do not, I repeat do not let him get away with treating you like he did. Just let him go, and live your life without him. I mean it. He is not the one for you. I know you want him to be, and that you think he should be, but the truth is that he isn’t and he never was. He was a lesson you needed to learn, so don’t make him into more than that. Learn your lesson and turn the page to a fresh one. Find someone who is going to stay by your side, who is going to be a solid presence in your life. Find someone who is warm and honest and treats you even better than you deserve. I don’t know if 2011 is the year you meet someone, but I hope something magical happens to you.

If you read this and you haven’t met someone special don’t be sad, don’t be mad, don’t be negative. Enjoy your life. Love is only one part of it, so don’t make it into the whole. Don’t be lonely. I know it is hard, but enjoy the love you do have. Enjoy your family and your friends. Be good to them and show them how much they matter to you. Whether you are dating, in a relationship, in love, etc isn’t going to determine how good or bad your life is. You decide that. Be happy, be happy period. Trust that in this world there is someone out there living their life and walking down a path that will eventually intersect with yours and you will meet. Maybe you already have, maybe it won’t happen for a while. I don’t know. Just live your life, enjoy yourself, and leave the rest to Faith and Hope.

If you are reading this and have met someone, all I want to say is I hope with all my heart you are happy. Whether it’s new or old, dating or a relationship I hope you are happy. I hope you found the courage to reach out for who you want and not let your fears hold you back. I hope this is the result of that, of you being brave enough to put yourself out there and see what happens. I hope he treats you better than you imagined and makes you happy down into your soul. I hope you do the same for him. I hope you are staying true to yourself and I really hope that you don’t place too many walls between you and him. Be happy, don’t worry too much about the future just be happy in that moment and trust that things will work out as they were meant to. Be happy is all I ask. All I want and need if for your smile and laughter to come easy, and for joy to be with you at all times.

Please do not run away from love or hide from it. Just give it a try and see what happens. You either get happy or you get hurt, most times it will be a little bit of both. Remember Mr. Mystery and let that be a reminder of what happens when you don’t take a chance. I don’t want you to spend your time sitting with regrets. I want you to be out there trying with all your heart. If you get rejected you get rejected. If you get what you want and it turns out to be wrong, learn from it. Love is a process, it takes time and effort. Most good things do. So if you find someone who stirs something wonderful in you, and he happens to be single give it a go. Be yourself, and see what happens. Trying is better than nothing. Knowing is better than wondering. Don’t regret, you don’t want that weight in your heart that comes from things not done, not said, not given…

I hope that you are writing, not just about your life, but writing the things you’ve always wanted to write. That you are taking the time to read the works of writers you find great and learning more about writing. I really hope you never give up on your writing, and that you don’t let it go static. Just like you, let your writing bloom with every season. Let it breathe and grow as you do. Don’t be afraid to try something new, and don’t be afraid to change. Don’t be afraid at all. This is what you love, and you are good at it, maybe even great. Believe in yourself, and do not forget that you write because you love it. Writing is first and foremost for yourself, don’t let anyone take that from you. Love what you do, and do what you love. That is the only reason you need.

I hope that you are fighting your fears and conquering them. Life is scary. It’s messy and dark, but it’s also beautiful. Find the beauty in the places you go, the people you meet, and the things you do. Don’t be afraid to test your limits. Don’t be afraid to stretch yourself into the unknown. The unknown is a brief step from knowing. Take that step and know. Everyone is afraid, you just have to choose not to let it paralyze or destroy you, your dreams, and the life you want.

Lastly, be good to the people who love you. Be kind to strangers. Give more than you take.  Have an open mind/heart/soul. Remember to choose happiness everyday. Take pictures with your mind. Do the things you love because you love them, no reason is needed for the way you feel about something or someone. Take the time to reflect on your life. Notice the beauty around you, find it in small moments and big interludes. Seek, discover, explore, create, question, love, try, smile, laugh, dream, rest, and let peace be with you in every moment. You are loved, never doubt that. Don’t hold your feelings inside of you. Let them show. Let them breathe. Let them go.

Enjoy 2011. Enjoy your life. Take care of yourself. Be happy. Please always believe in your beauty, never let it die. Hold onto your spunk and your fighting spirit. Let your light shine in this world and warm the lives of the people you come across. Be positive. Be grateful and humble. Be you. You are wonderful and beautiful if only you’d believe that and let yourself be.

I love you so much, remember that. There is beauty and good in you. Let go, breathe, and live well. The life you imagined is waiting for you to open your eyes and receive it.

With every love, every hope, every joy


To my readers I wish you all that I wish for myself. Please be happy, be healthy, be brave, be joyful, be kind, and always try. Let’s live well and make our lives overflow with happiness and beauty. Let’s start with ourselves and end with others. My hope is that we greet 2012 together after a wonderful 2011. I wish you every happiness, every joy, every opportunity life can give you. Wishing you a very wonderful and happy 2011. Thank you for sharing 2010 with me.

With so much love, hope, and blessings for you!!!!


This will be my last post for 2010. I will greet all of you in 2011. Thank you for being with me this year, and I hope in this new chapter you will follow my pages one by one as I write out my story.

~ by tsunamiblues on December 30, 2010.

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