I sit here in this chair

Afraid to turn off the lights

Because bad things happen when its dark

Fears become nightmares in my mind

Loneliness is watching from shadows on the wall

My tears are welling up inside my heart

I cannot breathe, I cannot get the air in

I am trembling and afraid

I can’t take it anymore but I have to

I just want to leave, and never look back

But I still stay for everyone but me

I’m suffering so much inside but no one knows

No one sees my broken soul

Invisible to the selective eyes

I am broken; lying here hollow and alone

How much more will I have to endure?

When will it finally get better?

How can life be so miserable?

I’m suffocating from the inside out

I just want to sit here and cry

I just can’t take it anymore

How many more days will I sacrifice here?

The anger, misery, and pain are boiling up inside me

One of these days I am going to explode and collapse

I feel like my insides are churning from my outside chaos

I am so mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted

I just want it to stop, just please stop

I want my life to go back to normal…to peace

I just want to move forward and not look back

I want to be strong but I can’t anymore

I just cannot give more than I am giving

Do more than I am doing

Make it stop please

Oh, Lord make it stop

I need you to rescue me

I am dying on the inside and no one notices

I laugh to hide the tears

I smile to hide my fears

My mask is shattered and all the wounds are there

Yet my pain remains invisible to everyone around me

There is so much sacrifice and suffering and I hate it

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it sooo much

Why me? Why us? Why this life? Why this pain? Why…?

One more strike and I am out for life because I just can’t get back up

I don’t know how much more I can take before I just give up

I just want it to all end so we can have a new beginning

I keep crying out but no one hears me, no one ever does

The tears rain down my cheeks and continue on forever

I feel like I am losing it, losing me, losing everything

It is all just slipping away from me, and I can’t get it back

My peace, passion, future, foundation, drive, motivation…life

It is disappearing right in front of me and I can’t grab onto it.

I am so tired of fighting this battle only to lose the war

I am tired of trying, and I just don’t want to anymore

I just want to rest, for once I just want to get some rest

~ by tsunamiblues on October 15, 2009.

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