Life After College…

Hello everyone! I hope your week went well, and that you are enjoying your well deserved weekend!!!

It seems no matter what time I got to sleep I am always awake by 7AM. It is kind of annoying since I don’t have classes and should spend my days sleeping in and being a lazy bum.

The sun is streaming in from the blinds behind me as I type, my grandma is cooking in the kitchen, and my cousins are pretending to do something educational while really just goofing around and I am listening to the wonderfulness that is the 500 Days Of Summer Soundtrack. I really want to go and watch the movie, but either it hasn’t come out yet or my area isn’t playing it.

When I think about life after college it isn’t a simple thing. There are so many fears and possibilities ahead for all of us, but the hard thing is making a choice of what to do and what not to do. I chose not to work for a well known company and instead go to Seoul, South Korea for a year.

Some people don’t understand my reasons, but all that matters is that I understand my reasons since they are mine and mine alone. Even if you tell someone your dream they are only seeing it from a far while you are standing and surrounded by it.

I don’t know what Seoul will be like because I cannot predict/know the future. All I know is that if I didn’t do this, I would regret it and I am not going to live my life full of regrets of what coul have been. I am trying to learn to live more, laugh more, dream more, and stop worrying and fearing the what if…scenarios.

You can’t live life by standing still waiting and waiting for everything to reveal itself before you make a move. You have to make a move an do it, and no matter what happen you did it, you have it your best shot. That is all I want to do, give it my best shot and see what happens.

Lately I have been thinking about life and death a lot. This is what happens when you watch too many crime shows like CSI, Law&Order, and Criminal Minds. I love crime shows but sometimes the episode really gets to me and I freak out because it could happen to me.

I keep thinking about how life is just a moment/instant in this world and then we face an eternity of death. I have always had a paralyzing fear of death. I hate anything related to it. I cannot drive past graveyards…I will take a different route just to avoid driving past it.

Death makes me sad…and even though I might not know that person I still feel for that life that has ended. For that story that will no longer be told. Death is a fact of life. We live and then we die…so I want to live my life so that when I die I will be remembered for how I lived.

It just makes me feel really thankful to be alive, to be able to wake up each morning, go to sleep in my bed each night, have my loved ones around me, being able to go after my dreams and goals. Those seemingly small miracles we forget about because it just is.

I feel thankful, so very thankful these days for my life. Yes, it isn’t always wonderful, and some days are overwhelming, but I am blessed everyday that I get to wake up and greet the day. I am grateful, thankful, and most of all humbled by God’s mercy and faithfulness to my life.

In 5 weeks I will be getting on a plane and going to Seoul. I will be completely out of my element, language, my comfort zone, and it will be challenging, hard, frustrating, but it will also be beautiful, mind opening, and full of experiences that will shape me in to a better human being.

I am scared and excited and full of nerves about what happens next. I am holding on to God’s hand and letting him lead me. I don’t know what the future holds for me but I do know that the present is formed by my choices.

If we don’t make a choice someone will make it for us. So you have to decide do you want to be the author of your story or are you going to let someone ghost write it for you?

It seems that life after college is life in general. I have my good days, bad days, and all kinds of days. I am moving forward as best as I can and remembering to breathe and trust in myself and my God.

Leaving you with my current obsession:

Keep fighting for your dreams because only you can weild the power to make it reality.

~ by tsunamiblues on July 18, 2009.

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