Daily Dose: Truly, Madly, Deeply

I am pretty sure most if not all of you have heard that song! This song is a classic to me, I can never get tired of it. Every time I listen it there is this resonating feeling in my heart, because who doesn’t want to love and be loved truly, madly. and most of all deeply.

Song: By Savage Garden

Lyrics:

I’ll be your dream
I’ll be your wish Ill be your fantasy
I’ll be your hope Ill be your love
Be everything that you need
I’ll love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
cause Im counting on

A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning yeah

Chorus
I want to stand with you on
A mountain
I want to bath with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining
Brightly in the velvet sky
I’ll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the
Pleasure in the certainty
That were surrounded by the
Comfort and protection of

The highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you

Chorus

Oh can you see it baby
You don’t have to close your eyes
cause its standing right here
Before you
All that you need with surely come

I’ll be your dream Ill be your wish
I’ll be your fantasy
I’ll be your hope Ill be your love
Be everything that you need
I’ll love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do

Chorus

I want to stand with you on a
Mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to live like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

——————————

So here is my story:

I’m a young woman who has these hidden feelings for this wonderful guy who I happen to be friends with. If you have read some of my other blogs you know our backstory….but the most important thing is that he has someone that he adores and wants to be with, and he only sees me as a good friend.

That should be where the story ends right? I mean he’s taken, he’s not interested, and yet inside my heart I still really really really like him as someone who could be more than a friend. I have had feelings for guys but nothing like this. You know those silly crushes you have for people you don’t even talk to but in your head you think that you two would have great conversations.

Well this is not a dream for me, this is reality. He’s not a figment of what could be, but he is truly someone that I have great conversations with, someone that makes me see past his surfaces, someone that I could trust to accept me for who I am and who I am not. He’s the kind of guy you want to take home to meet your precious mother. Or the kind of guy you could have a long and deeply satisfying relationship with. It is just really frustrating for me to feel like this and not be able to have the courage to tell him what lies inside of my heart. Next year we will both be graduating from college, and I keep thinking what if he’s the one that I’m supposed to give my heart to and I am going to lose him. What if all those prayers I said to God are embodied within him. I cannot even express how frustrating it feels to have your heart not listen to the rational thoughts of your mind, because these feelings, this agony doesn’t seem to be going away.

Meeting him changed my life, and taught me that love is more than skin deep, and that you need to look beyond the surface of a person to find their layers. He doesn’t know that, but my life is better from knowing him. He’s one of those people who come into your life and it isn’t the same after knowing them. I used to think that the person for me had to be exactly how I wanted, he should be Mr. Tall/Dark/&Handsome. I have grown up and realized that the right person for you isn’t based on how they look on the outside but the depth of their soul on this inside. See this guy. happens to be only 5’11, blonde, and blue eyed. My eyes have been open to the beauty that lies in his deep blues.

All that aside, it sucks liking someone so much when you know that it is 99.9% likely that it will never happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is not a fairytale,and I am no Cinderella, but sometimes…sometimes I just wish that the day would come when my Prince Charming would come and rescue me from the loneliness that I feel. I wish that today would be the day that someone special comes into my life and proves to me that true love exists in this world and that not only can I have a taste of it, but I can have a lifetime with it.

I want to like someone who likes me! I want my heart to find its companion. I want my feelings to be returned. One-sides feelings are THE PITS….all those unrequited loves/likes out there, I feel for you! I feel like the other single to this pair is far from me and that I will have to be single for a long time before I meet the other half to our pair. You see I am not like most of the young women my age. I don’t want boyfriends. flings, one-night stands, or anything superficial like that. I want a serious, committed, and loving kind of relationship. I want to meet someone that is looking towards the future and sees that we could have a future together someday…maybe. I want guys like that..not these morons who just want to get in my pants/skirts and have their fun 0____o. No freaking thanks :P

What sucks even more is wanting to be closer/close to someone but not being able to. I know that if I tried to be closer to him, I would only get hurt in the end because I would still keep seeing him in a “more than a friend” way. I have to say though that even then, it would be worth it to get to see him more, and know him more. I miss the days when we all had classes together, and I miss being able to see him all the time. I hope, wish, and pray that next year we get to see each other more, and that I get to just enjoy spending time with him.

Another thing that sucks is that when you like/love someone you care more about them than they do about you. You want to be so important to them but you know that your just another friend, another girl among the crowd. At least for him, he’s already found someone that stands out to him in the midst of all those others.

ARRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH…..what should I do? How should I go about letting go of all of this? He’s worth liking …but I want to stop my heart from getting even more attached!! I want to feel like this when it is mutual and not one-sided. He’d never think that I like him, cause he thinks he knows my ideal man. Sometimes I just want to be like “Hey, I like you…deal with it:)”….but I am neither brave enough to deal with the consequences of it or ready to lose him as a friend if he finds the whole situation awkward.

To all those who have dealt with this, what did you do? What should I do? My heart seems to do its own thing even if my mind realizes how futile this all is.

~ by tsunamiblues on May 6, 2008.

3 Responses to “Daily Dose: Truly, Madly, Deeply”

  1. You can look at it two ways. One, he is either the guy you are meant to be with and his current girlfriend is a giant obstacle. Or two, he isn’t the guy you are meant to be with, which means all of your more-than-friends feelings are wasted upon him because there is another guy out there, your other half essentially, who should be the only one deserving of your feelings.

    Maybe you like this guy so much because he is just currently the best guy you know.

    Remember you are a person too, and you are important, and you deserve better than to like some guy that is already in a relationship. You deserve to like and be liked by a guy who is focused completely on you for the wonderful person that you are.

    I am curious, but do you sometimes have low self-esteem? I’ve noticed that people who don’t think highly of themselves in some aspect of their life, tend to get into these situations more than people who are bubbling with self-confidence.

    Either way I am happy to see another blog, I actually enjoy checking your blog and reading new ones :)

  2. Eobert, I enjoy reading your comments. I think that sometimes I have low self-esteem. I question myself, and who I am a lot. Maybe that is because I still feel like I have discovered who I truly am yet.

  3. Ya i’ve felt like that at times. Right now I struggle with motivational problems. Ever since I was like 13 i’ve felt that life seemed very boring and that there must be a higher purpose for me, but i haven’t figured out if there is, and what it is. Been 10 years and it still hasn’t come to me lol.

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