Self-Discovery Never Ends!!

It seems like some days I feel like my life is crumbling into pieces and other days I feel clarity about my life and what I need to do to get to where I want to be. I am realizing though that my life is always going to have challenges, obstacles, bad days, failures, sadness, and disappointments. BUT my life is also going to have happiness, love, laughter, triumphs, success, and all kinds of wonderful things. I am seeing that I have to take the good with the bad and do my best to have more happiness than sadness.

Most of the time I get so caught up in what I still need to do, what I did wrong, how far I still need to go, what I am lacking, and blah blah. I tend to be pessimistic and negative and very critical towards myself and that has caused me to lose my self-worth and that love that every person should have for themselves. I look in the mirror and see all my imperfections and faults instead of seeing my beauty, elegance, and worthiness. Why is it that we forget that we are worthy of our dreams, lives, loves, friendships, jobs, and whatever else we have.

You and I are worthy of this lifetimes. We are worthy of going after what we want and we are worthy for anything that comes our way. It is that self-assurance and confidence in myself, who I am ,and where I am going that I am striving to find. I get so caught of in the negative, the stress, the insecurities that I am doubting myself, my worthiness, my ability, my confidence and have become this scared reflection of myself.

I know that I am sabatoging myself and my dreams. I am limiting how far I can go and how far I already have come because I am stuck on all that I have not done, all the mistakes I’ve made and that there are those who are better than me.  Well in life there will always be people who are better than you and those that are worse but WHO CARES? We are as beautiful and as wonderful as we CHOOSE to be. I think it really comes down to realizing that, accepting it, and letting it go. At the end of our lives will those people even matter? No!

What matters is YOU AND I. What matters is our dreams, fears, loves, hearts, sadness, and most of all that we need to make that choice to love ourselves truly from the inside and out. Instead of thinking about who your not, think about who you are and the great things about you. Instead of thinking I have so much to do, think about all you have already accomplished. Instead of thinking how people are better than you, realize that just being you is unique because no one esle can be you. No one can think like you, laugh like you, act like you, no one is you but YOU, That is pretty awesome already.

It seems like I am always thinking about what this person is thinking about me, whether they like me or not. Whether they like what I wear, how I talk, the things I do and  it has come to a point where I am so caught up in everyone else’s feelings and thoughts that I forget my own. Don’t make my mistake of letting them matter more than you matter, You matter the most and should matter the most in your heart. You are the most important person and you shouldn’t let anyone take away that worthiness. Not should you take it from yourself. You have every right to go after that job, that man/woman, that idea, that dream. You just have to choose to believe it, know it, and go after it.

I know it is hard and that this is not a quick fix, but when you get to that part of your life that you feel happiness and complete contentment as you then you will know that it was worth it. It was worth it that you made a choice to love yourself, dream big and beautiful dreams, and most of all never let the fear of not making it keep you from going after it. Don’t have regrets when you could have just gone ahead and done it.

I want to stop feeling like everyday is a battle to get through it. I want to smile more, laugh long and hard, and just relish my life, body, mind, soul, and everything and anything in between. I am going to take it one step at a time making little improvements along the way and I want you to always remember even in those times when we fall, we have a choice to stay there or pick ourselves up from the ground and keep going. You have to rely on your own strength and be comfortable in your own skin.

Only then will you be able to truly live and enjoy your life!! Best of luck to you and to myself as we go towards are happiness. I wish you every and any happiness along your journey.

Be blessed!! :)

~ by tsunamiblues on March 30, 2008.

2 Responses to “Self-Discovery Never Ends!!”

  1. Haven’t checked your blog in a while, which is my loss, because you always write so well and I go through a lot of what you go through and feel the same way about a lot of things. Find that inner strength and live a happy life :).

  2. Words are our friends but they are sometimes also our enemies. With labels, we not only name who we are, what we do, how we do it, what we think of ourselves and what we do, we also have these labels as points of judgment of those things. In applying a label to anything, we make a judgment of that thing by virtue of the chosen label… that label in turn may be used by others to base their judgment of that thing about us.
    Words or labels have meanings which may elicit feelings. The meanings we give to words and labels, remembering that one word may have different meanings, and the feelings that come, are open to change and interpretation if we need or are open to such possibilities.

    Self discovery never ends, it may however be hampered or retarded in its development by any judgment we have at what we may discover about ourselves. If we are willing to accept something about ourselves that we find uncomfortable or unacceptable in others.
    Self discovery, is in part self disclosure to yourself, it takes a great deal of courage as well as a wide curiosity.
    Shakespeare put it best in Hamlet…
    This above all, to thine own self be true
    for thou canst not then for false to another man.

    Who cares what others think of you, their thoughts are their reality, if you are being true to yourself (in whatever form that may take) what others think will be of little consequence.

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