So Lift Up Your Heart Now…

I wrote this to a dear friend, and wanted to share my thoughts with those out there who also are waiting for that day to come to pass. Remember, to stay strong and rest in the faith of the promises that lie ahead. Your life is still developing as is your heart. Lift it up to the sky and let it soothe your sorrows.

Here is a song that I think will touch you as it has touched me.

It is by Caedmons Call: Ten Thousand Angels

how long you have traveled in darkness weeping
no rest in language, no words to speak
but there in the wreckage beneath bricks and bindings
love has come, love has come for you

against the night sky of your waiting
your face is like starlight when he walks in
everything worth keeping comes through dying
love has come, love has come for you

so lift up your heart now, to this unfolding
all that has been broken will be restored
here runs deep waters for all who are thirsty
love has come, love has come for you

ten thousand angels will light your pathway
until the day breaks fully in the East
they will surround you and make your way straight
love has come, love has come for you
love has come, love has come for you

I have been playing this song over and over, and everytime I listen to it the lyrics keep getting to me, an giving me serenity about life and love and everything in between.

It is the waiting for what will be that makes the wanting so much more miserable. I mean when we were younger did we really think we would be moping around about this stuff. I think as you get older you start to realize that something or someone is missing on your life. I think some people can live there whole lives without love, but I am not one of those people. I don’t know how to explain it but I just know in my heart of heart that I am part of a pair and not meant to be a single. I am not supposed to wake up in the morning to no one lying next to me. I am not supposed to come home to an empty house. I am not supposed to grow old looking at a picture of just me.

Sometimes I wonder if my time has passed, if something happened to that person I am supposed to be with. What if we are lifetimes, light years away from each other? What if he is already with someone else. What if there is some kind of obstacle keeping our two roads from intersecting. All these what ifs keep me from just resting in the belief that when God believe it is time and it is right we will meet.

When I think about that moment, day, minute, that my life changes my heart starts beating faster. I truly believe meeting him will change my life for the better. I will finally feel like my heart is not only whole but is full of life. I feel like I am only a shadow of who I will be sometimes. It might seem stupid to be depending on something like that ,but it is so hard to explain how true I feel it is that somewhere in this world he is living his life, looking up at the same sky, going towards his dreams, and one day our eyes will meet, our hearts will connect, and everything will finally fall into place.

I won’t have to worry about feeling cold, struggling on my own, or growing old alone, I feel selfish though sometimes. I feel greedy wanting this, when God had given me such good friends and family. However, the love you feel for your family or your friends to me is a different love than for the person you build a life with, go after dreams with.

See for me, love is only the foundation of a lasting relationship. Without that the walls and the roofs would crumble. Love keeps everything above water. When things get bad, when you both are tested it is that foundation that keeps you a float. That is why superficial feelings are a waste of time.

God knows my heart, more than I know. He knows the secrets that I have not unlocked and He knows the person who will be able to open it and cherish it, and love it for all its imperfections, beauty. and sorrow. I believe it is the same for you,and although things feel sad now it will get better one day. Maybe sooner. maybe later but I trust in that faith that it will happen.

Then we will look back and smile at the young women we were and how far we have come in our lives and with love. Maybe our hearts have to hurt before they can truly love. I think these feelings are only a glimpse of the beauty of what true love will be like. We just have to stay true to ourselves, our hearts, and our dreams. One day it will all make sense, the struggling, the tears, but in the end it will have been worth it. Because in the end the person standing next to you will be the one that hold you the best, love you the most, and who’s heart in synced to yours.

Until then lets laugh a lot, be strong, and know that in time the waves will subside and we will only be looking out at clear waters and wonderfully blue skies. We will laugh more, and just understand why life is so precious and why love is something we should never take for granted.

~ by tsunamiblues on February 15, 2008.

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