Life after January 18th…

It has been a while since my last blog, and that is just because I have been so busy that I haven’t had time to write a single word, and I really want to try my best to write everyday and lay my thoughts out for others to see, and maybe find some common ground to stand on. So what have I been up to, well if your willing to read I am about to tell you everything that has been going on since the last entry.

I went on this Retreat about Social Justice last weekend with my club, and I really did not want to go at first but it has turned out to be one of the most life altering things that I have taken a part in. So it lasted from Friday afternoon till Sunday night, and it was about eighty club members there ,as well as the club staff. They had us in teams, and then we would meet as a big group sometimes. We talked about issues like racism, sexism, ageism, and all the different types of inequality, social justice issues, and other things that are going on in the world. What I enjoyed the most is that even though we all came there knowing only a few people, we still connected on this deeper level. The kind of level that even many years of being friends might not reach. I mean we barely knew each other, but people were so honest and respectful of other people’s beliefs, identities, values, and whatever else differentiated them from you. I learned so much about myself and about the people around me, that it kind of opened my eyes to the beauty that I wasn’t seeing in the world.

There are so many beautiful and wonderful people in the world, and if we only make that effort, put ourselves out there, and open out minds we will have a life filled with beauty and understanding. I met so many amazing people, that even though we are all part of the same organization we never had the opportunity to meet and connect on a level where we really get to see the realness of each other. I met a lot of people that made me think why aren’t we friends already, an things of that manner. I t kind of made me step out of my comfort zone and introduce myself to new people, and take the risk of making myself vulnerable to them by asking them if they wanted to sit together, and just taking the time and making the effort to get to know them. I truly feel like I gained so much life experience and learned about myself in those three days at the retreat.

One of my favorite things was this identity celebration night that we had, and everyone had to celebrate something that the identified with. Whether it was a religious view, being male or female, being part of the human race, or whatever identities we there. I chose to celebrate my nationality. Since I was the only one of that nationality I did my presentation to everyone about what my identity means to me alone. Although it was scary putting myself out there in front of so many people, I liked standing up for who I was and  sharing it with others. I was very proud; to the point of tears when people shared their identities because people were so honest with everyone about what the believed and everyone was so respectful and open-minded. It truly was a beautiful experience.

At the end of the retreat we did this candlelight ceremony where everyone made and “I commit” statement about doing social justice in the next year, or just making some kind of change in the world. Mine was that I commit to not only knowing about people’s different values, beliefs, identities, and whatever else they choose to share with me. But also taking the time to understand those different aspects of what makes a person who they are. The experiences you go through in life is what shapes your existence. So how am I going to go about this? Well, for me personally I am going to try and go out my comfort zone, and meet new people. Taking that risk and trying to make new friends, and just talking to someone can be challenging, but I want to take that risk and hopefully have some amazing experiences. Meet people that I can truly call my friend, and just learn more about how diverse the world is. I am ready to meet new people, and I hope they want to meet me too.

The other thing that happened was I had an internship interview for an opportunity to work at an amazing company in the area. It is a ten-week summer program and you get placed on a project and just have an opportunity to grow as a professional in the business world. It was an all day event, and had two hours of interviewing as well. I think it went very well, but I have no clue whether I was someone who stood out to them. I hope they give me an offer, because I think it would be an amazing program to learn more about how it is really like in the world, and just developing my skills.

I’ve barely had time to breathe these past two weeks, with starting a new semester and all these extra things going on around me, but it had been interesting, and I truly feel that I have done a lot of growing up these past few months personally and professionally. I’ve also kind of come to terms with my feelings for that guy I mentioned in my last blog. I actually told my mother about him, and how I felt towards him. I’m debating whether to tell him my feelings next year before we graduate. Kind of just getting it out of my chest, and giving it a voice. My mom says you never know until you try, but to that I say rejection is a painful experience and I feel that would be the outcome. If I did eventually tell him it would definitely be in a letter, because it gives me  chance to really express myself and not have to deal with the face to face drama.

But, I have a year to debate that and see what I should do, if anything. He is the kind of guy you want to build a life with, that you can see yourself long-term with. I’m a firm believer though that whoever I am supposed to be with will either come to me or God will make a way for me to come to them. If this guy isn’t the one, at least I know I have found a friend for life in him ,and having him in my life is enough for me. I’m not greedy enough to want what I cannot have, or what doesn’t belong to me.

That is basically everything that has been going on in my life. I feel like I am learning how to live my life for me these days and beginning to find a pursue what makes me happy!!

Now enough about me, what about you? How is life treating you these days?

Be blessed, not stressed!!!

~ by tsunamiblues on January 25, 2008.

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