Life isn’t about finding yourself, instead it’s about CREATING yourself.

What do you think about that? Do you think life is about creating yourself, or finding yourself? Maybe a little bit of both for some out there. I honestly have no answer to that I think that it can be both, one, or none of those. We all have to make that choice about our lives and what it is going to be about. For me, I’m still searching for what I want out of life and how to get it. I’m not sure about everything I need in life, and I am learning that part of life is the uncertainty of tomorrow.

Your life really can change within a day, either by internal or external forces around you. You can be the cause or the effect, or like with many things both. I know for me that right now, I am unsure about my path. my present, and more importantly my future. I want to stop living for the future so much and start shaping my present the way I desire it to be. It would work better if I was sure of what I wanted and what I needed, but alas I am not filled with that wisdom right now.

If life is about finding myself, then I guess I need to start making decisions about what is important to me. Most of your life your family and environment shape who you are, but as you get older and begin to think for yourself you can figure out what YOU really like, dislike, love, hate, what makes you happy, sad, cry, and so on. You can start to shape the world around you they way you see it in your eyes and in your heart. The only things I am sure are important to me are my family, music, writing, true friends, God, liberty, and the ability to go after my dreams. Everything else lies in the limbo between important and not.

If life is about creating myself, then I think it means that I can shape the world around me by first shaping myself from the inside out, before I seek what is outside in the ever-changing world. I think creating yourself is like a painting. You start with a blank canvas, pondering what to show to the world. Then you begin to get ideas, and you start to paint. Maybe the first one will be perfect, if not you start over with new ideas, new colors until you finally get the painting you wanted. So like with yourself ,you might have to try different methods, experiences, and places before you can become the painting you desire. I think that creating yourself allows for a more liberating experience, while finding yourself is looking for something that already exists but you don’t have access to.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with either way, but a blending of the two most likely would fit me. Sometimes, you can be a painting that already was started (finding yourself), and as you stare at it you realize that you can create the rest of it, and make it something truly yours (creating yourself).

I think one of my problems is that I’m afraid to pick up the paintbrush and create myself, and that I am afraid to face what is already painted onto the canvas. I’m afraid to be me, and I’m afraid to shape me. Because, being the foolish young woman that I am, I still care what the world thinks when they look towards me. I want to be me, and not who others think I am, or want me to be, but I am still afraid. I’m sure I am not the only one out there who feels lost in between liberation and conformation.

No matter what, at the end of the day your going to be the one faced with the choices you make, or the ones you let others make for you. If you can live with it then don’t change, but if you can’t live with it, ask yourself why? TRUE Change doesn’t happen in a day, i takes time, and perseverance on all our parts.

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~ by tsunamiblues on January 10, 2008.

4 Responses to “Life isn’t about finding yourself, instead it’s about CREATING yourself.”

  1. I love reading your blog … so much feelings

  2. Thanks for the compliment, it makes writing worth it, when it can impact someone else.

  3. This blog is such an inspiration to me. I have bookmarked it so that I can come back and read it everyday until I realize how to create myself.

    • Layla: Thank for for the compliment. I write this blog in hopes of inspiring others through my triumphs and trials. So I am glad you were inspired.

      I’m still creating myself. You have to remember one day at a time, one step at a time. Also, you are going to make mistakes along the way to creating yourself but those mistakes will be a learning experience.

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