Can someone please tell me…

what does my future hold? If only it was possible form me to be told what my future hold, so I can work towards it. Not knowing what is going to happen is kind of scary. Not knowing if you will be alive a day from now, not knowing anything, only assuming that tomorrow will surely come. We are all living without guarantees, but I think that we still have to move towards the future that we want. Whether it is a person you want to be with, or a place you want to go to, or something you want to accomplish don’t give up just because it isn’t a definite yes. We still have to strive towards the beauty of our dreams, that is where courage and faith comes into play.

Now why did I say all of that. I am sure that there are other like me, who are afraid to truly let themselves go. To push themselves beyond their comfort zones, and to take a chance. That is the reality of life, we have to push beyond our assumed limits. Who says you can’t do it? You? How do you know if you don’t even try? Even if you regret it, you still had the courage to put yourself out there. Life and living is a risk, being able to be apart of that is what we need to do. I’m not saying do something crazy, but do things that you really want to do, but are afraid to do. Do something beyond your supposed limits. Talk to that person you always wanted to, go to that place you always wanted to visit, write that story you always wished to write. Don’t give up on what you want to do without even going towards it. I know it is scary,and I am scared to but we must all go past our fears and towards our dreams.

I have been thinking of going to South Korea after I graduate for a year and teach English through this teaching program. I am a Finance major and plan to go to law school after I graduate, but I really don’t think I can go into a three year program right after graduation. I am burning out slowly but surely, and I want to take a year to figure out my happiness, where I belong, what I desire, and how to achieve my future. I want to get out of the United States and immerse myself in another world, life, culture, and most of all another me. It gives me a chance to reinvent myself and discover what makes me happy.

How does South Korea, particularly Seoul  play into this? Well I have been dreaming of traveling there ever since I got into Asian culture, music, and the language. Although I an not fluent in Korean or completely aware of how it is there, I still want to go and experience it for myself. I want to give myself time to do something completely different. Something past my comfort zone and challenge myself to see it through. Being in a place with no one I know, and not speaking the language seems daunting and scary but even so I want to go, I really really want to go. I have to get out of here, and into a new world. I have to push myself in order to discover who I am. I know that figuring out who you are is part of life, but it is becoming painfully clear that I have a lot insecurities about myself and I need to learn to love me completely before trying to love someone else. I need to understand my heart ,before I can trust someone with it. I want to wake up and look in the mirror and know the person staring back at me.

I ma going to look into the program and pray for God to lead me where it is I need to go. For God to provide me the oppurtunities to get to that place. For God to give me the wisdom to know who I am and what I need and want. We all have questions and seek answers that seem to fade with each passing moment. I am hoping that in the next few years I can find myself, come to peace with the me that I am, and learn to live with it. If your out there and you struggling with your life, dreams, and future, I am with you in that struggle, but I do know that we have to move out of the struggle into the future. We have to seek out our dreams and find the means of achieving them. We have to heal and find serenity within ourselves. I wish you the deepest of luck , and pray for you the humblest of prayers. May God grant you the ability to not only dream but to go after those dreams with passion and grace.

Yours truly,

A kindred soul….

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~ by tsunamiblues on November 8, 2007.

3 Responses to “Can someone please tell me…”

  1. Go for it. Go to Korea, or wherever in Asia Pacific. Experience the culture and life styles there. It will be an eye-opening experience. Go meet your idol. Find Lee Ji-Hoon – if you still adore him. I do. Upon your return, you will find yourself a changed person – a better and happier person, I hope.

  2. I will go for it…I want to start going towards the things I want, even if the journey feels scary I still want to take a chance and see what it holds.

  3. I believe that the things that we don’t do are the things we regret most in life. Like you, I too find myself feeling very frustratute with life, but the thing I have recently realised is that a journey begins with one single step, every action has a consequence, every choice we make is a seed that we sow… Good choices yield good fruit and vice versa. What I am trying to say is that life is a journey, things are always changing, we change and with experience so does out perspective. Live for the moment, it’s all you really have. Yesterday is history, all you have are the memories, tomorrow is always a day away, close but just out of reach, so appreciate what you have and where you are right now in this very moment, it’s called the present because is it a gift – enjoy it! In this journey, live for the moment. In this game called life, don’t sit on the sidelines and watch it pass you by, play full out. You only get one shot at life, there are no dress rehersals, so make yours count, leave your mark in this world, create a legacy. Follow Nike’s advice, Just do it!
    Best of luck in your pursuits & God Bless :)

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