My daily dose…9/12/07

So I have decided to write a blog everyday about how my day went or is going, because I think as a writer this is a good way to let out my stress and not let things get congested inside my head.

Overall today has been a pretty okay day; it has been overwhelming in terms of homework, projects, and just trying to find time to get everything done on time. It is my first year in the business cohort at my school. I was told it was going to be tough, and that reality is very apparent three weeks into the semester. If it was last week I would have probably had a melt down by now. But I feel like I can breathe again, now that I am moving closer to God again. Even when my steps falter I know he will continue to be by my side, and keep me in his thoughts.

It seems like everyday I am having a headache and I don’t know what to do about it. I eat a good breakfast, lunch, and dinner and drink lots of water. But lately my head has been hurting everyday, and I think it is the stress of everything I need to do. That stress isn’t going to go away, so it’s like a losing battle. I had a quiz today in my accounting class, and I really hope I did well. I had like a brain freeze/panic attack during it, but I think I still managed to get the right answers.

What really sucks is being a creative writer and being forced to write in such a standardized way. Even though I am a business major I like to write my way, and it is hard adjusting it to these standards. But I know that in the end it is to my benefit to learn the skills that will help me as I go out into the world.

It was really hot today, and I felt like I was going to melt before I get to my dorm. I realized today that I am far form the only one scared, stressed, and worried about the future, and doing well in the school. It eases my mind to know that other people are like me and aren’t perfect.

What was really annoying was waiting for 30 minutes to see a professor because he had a group of students in his office, and even though my questions were important, they chatted about stuff for all that time, and I ended up not being able to ask him anything. He said I should come back another day, because he had a class. I really like him as a professor, but I was really disappointed in him. So I am going to go see the cute TA on Friday and ask him questions. We have to do this big project and I really want to get as many points as possible on it.

There never seems to be enough time in the day to get everything done, and sometimes I am lacking the motivation to do it as well. I also have been questioning if this is really what I want to do for the rest of my life, and have been asking God to lead the way towards the path he wants me to take.

I want to be successful and make my family proud, but more importantly I want to be happy with the choices I make. I am trying to live more and worry less about my life. It is hard, but I am trying to let it go and give it to God. What I am really dreading is getting a root canal tomorrow, I always cry when I go to the dentist cause I am afraid of needles and the tools they use. I have to get my wisdom teeth out later and am really scared about it.


~ by tsunamiblues on September 12, 2007.

2 Responses to “My daily dose…9/12/07”

  1. When we are younger we all have our dreams about how we what to live our lives. But as we get older it seems that our dreams start to fade and reality comes into play. You lose all your free time so that you can live a “successful life”. But that bring the question of what is a successful life. Is it making enough money so that you can have a house, a car, and just dedicate your life to work and making money? Or is it living your dreams and being happy? These questions I have always been troubled by, and try to keep my options open. As of now all I do is, go to school, do work for school, go to work 16 hours a week, while I’m not in school, and then in my free time I try to keep my dream alive by playing with my band on Saturday and Sunday (after playing guitar at church of course). I play guitar and am trying to make a living from it with my band, but I have no free time right now for friends or any relationships of any kind. So I live my life alone waiting to see what the future will bring. If my band takes off than I will get to play music, if not, then I have my backup plan by getting my masters degree right now. Still, I am always on the lookout for that special someone who will bring joy to my life for the rest of my days. Who knows what will happen, but you must live on, one day at a time, and see what everyday brings.


  2. I think success is a little bit of both; having success in reality and with your dreams is as good as it could get. My dream is to be a recognized poet and a romance short story writer, but my biggest dream is to be someone who makes a difference in people’s lives. Right now I am going to school and getting my bachelor’s in finance. As the future starts to surround me I keep questioning what I really want in life. I honestly want to make the people around me who I love happy and for them to be able to depend on me to get through the hard times. I hope that when I look at the me in past I smile and understand all the hard times, all the tears, all the doubts have led me to be someone beautiful on the inside and the outside. I have a lot of work ahead of me personally and professionally, and so do you all. But I think in this world if we don’t go after what we want we will end up with a multitude of regrets. As long as I am happy, healthy, and loved that is enough for me. Right now I wish I had a special someone, but I don’t even haven enough time for myself, so it would be difficult to be in a relationship. But right now as we all are struggling to grow our foundations, once we do that we will have something to lay down on and use as we keep going forward. Don’t give up on your dreams Dave, and it is good to have a backup plan. I hope that you get to do great things with your band, and when you do let me know so I can check out a concert. Best of luck to all of us with our lives, dreams, loves, and of course the most important thing our happiness.

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