Dear me….

Dear me,

It seems like lately you have been having a very hard time, and only you can see or know what it is your going through. Even though you want to ask for help, your voice seems to get lost and you are unable to call out for it. Your heart feels like it is beating beyond your limits and when you try to slow it down the pain becomes so much clearer.

What is wrong with you? You don’t really know but at the same time you do, and just don’t want to admit it to yourself or the world. Your tired, your sad, and most of all you feel completely lost. You feel abnormal and like your a fading dream getting lost in reality. You have so many worries in your little heart and you don’t know how to move past them and start living. It is almost like your too scared to truly live your life. Instead you observe the world around you and continue to feel disappointment.

Even when you try your hardest it doesn’t seem like it is good enough, and in your mind it is never good enough, and your never good enough. You want to be this perfect human being, and don’t seem to grasp the impossible task your asking. You want to be the best person out of everyone around you, the smartest, most capable, and brilliant person to exist in your environment, but to your dismay your not. You feel like a nobody, that there are so many more capable and brilliant people around you. So much so that you stress yourself out because your not as good as they are.

You have already convinced yourself of your unworthiness and cannot let go of it, can’t move past it and just be yourself, just be the me that you are. Even when you try your mind seems to fall back on your lack of confidence and you can’t move past it. Your chained to yourself and have become your worst enemy. No one can hurt you more than you hurt yourself. Even though you see this and know this nothing changes. Everyday you are filled with worries and stress, everyday your smile is a little less bright, and your dream that much more unreachable.

What am I going to do with you? What can we do to pick you up, dust you off and get you back on your feet? What can we do to motivate you to get up once you fall? To realize that perfection isn’t a realistic goal. To see that failure isn’t then end of your journey, to see that life is worth living and you have a right to live it. What can we do to make you believe in yourself? What can we do to make you feel happy? To take away the sadness you have embedded in your heart. To take away your sorrow and your pain.

What can we do to give your strength, and courage to keep going forward? What can we do so that you can see the beauty that exists in you? So that you can see your better than you think you are? What can we do to comfort your shaking soul and nurture your tender heart? What can we do? What is it that will make you wake up and get out of this state your in?

What can we do to energize you and feed your mind. To take away the anxiety and stress your feeling. To make you laugh and smile and just be carefree. What can we do to give you a balance in your life?

How can I bring back your happiness and give you back the courage to go after your dreams and strive for your goals? What can I do to make you feel better? Less alone? Less of a freak? What can I do to ease your fluttering heart?

How can I save you, it seems like there are so many questions and no answers to solve them. What is it that you really want? Need? What can we do for you to feel like your a human being worthy of living and pursuing happiness and success.

I know your heart hurt, your mind is cluttered, and your soul is drifting away. I know that your tears are left unshed, and your worries are ever present. I know that you feel alone and are in the need of help. I know your in pain, and I know you want to be better, feel better, and find your happiness. We are in this together, and when you suffer we have to pick you back up. Try, try, try, try, try, and keep on trying. Please don’t ever give up on yourself even when the whole world does. Please be more honest to yourself even if the world tells its lies. Please take care of yourself and remember to choose your happiness above all else.

I know it seems like it will never get better, but you have to have hope and have faith that it will, only then will changes become apparent.

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~ by tsunamiblues on September 6, 2007.

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