We all hurt each other…

even when we don’t mean to.

It is a sad quality in all human beings, that whether we do it intentionally or unintentionally we hurt each other. Sometimes the simplest of insults can turn into the most complex of hurts. I have been both the victim and the criminal of this crime. Hurting people. sometimes intentionally but more often unintentionally.

So let me tell you the simple insult, today I plan to clean my mom’s room since some family will be coming and staying there. To give you some background, I’ll say I am a pretty good daughter, I try my best to be obedient and help my single mom out even when she doesn’t ask for it. I try to always be dependable and responsible in all that I do. I’m not perfect and at times like all human beings I slip up. Well I had planned on cleaning it yesterday but I helped a friend out, and so I am doing it today instead. I went to say good afternoon to her, and she was talking about her glasses being missing, and I said I’d look for them when I’m cleaning her room today. Then she had to make this unnecessary comment about how I’d been saying that, and that I just keep saying stuff, and how when she makes promises she keeps them. Basically a bunch of stuff that totally crushed me and made me feel bad. First of all my mom is no saint and she doesn’t always keep her promises, because sometimes like all human being you have to break them.

Second, there was no need to be so self-righteous, and so I told her I am doing it not because I have to but because I want to, and she said that she shouldn’t even have to ask me. That if I clean it everyday so what. I just closed my door and decided to right so it isn’t welled up in me all day long. My point is that I think my mother takes me for granted, and doesn’t appreciate me. She isn’t perfect, and I am not either so of course there is bound to be conflict between our imperfections. But there is no reason to treat me like some insignificant person who never does anything.

I know it wasn’t that big of a thing, but you need to realize that we all need to be careful with our actions and words cause we can so easily hurt each other. Right now my heart feels a bit heavy, and I actually want to cry. One thing, is that I am not as strong or untouched as people think, and my mom should realize that, and not make me feel this way. I mean no matter what I will have it cleaned before we leave, but she just has to go and say things like that. It is not like she is doing it, and it is not like she does anything else. I understand that she works, and that she is tired when she comes home, that is why I clean without saying anything. But what I cannot stand and what frustrates me is the next day to see crap everywhere again, and for my efforts to go unappreciated and belittled.

I keep saying if you just maintained it, then you wouldn’t have to clean as much or as often. But no there is laundry in the living room and the kitchen is in disarray. So sometimes I get really frustrated, I don’t like dirty places, and it just is annoying because the stuff is mostly my mom’s stuff all over the place. I mean my God how can one deal with that, I cannot even tell you how frustrated I am feeling right now, my stomach is in knots, and my heart feels sick.

Now I am going to be in a bad mood for the rest of the day because of this little incident. I am going to clean her room today, and try and clean the house. But you know what even if she says thank you it won’t matter now, even if she says sorry, it won’t change the fact that she hurt me. What is done is done and little apologies don’t change that. The damage will have still existed, and it will heal regardless of those words.

That is my story for now, and I am sure there are those with worse ones, but don’t make mine less because it isn’t yours to undermine or belittle. My experience is mine to feel, and yours is yours. Sometimes I get so tired, and cannot wait to live on my own, and have my own life, and just be free, in all my life there isn’t a time I’ve felt truly and completely free. Sometimes I feel suffocated my my family, and sometimes so frustrated I wish I could just go far and far away.

I’m sure we have all felt that at times, but I hope when I have children they won’t have to live the life I’ve lived or carry the past that I have. I wish for them to have all the things I didn’t have, to be loved the way I wasn’t, and to just be better than I was.  I hope this helped others to realize that their actions and words can have a deeper impact than they thought, instead of making it a negative one. Try and make it positive.

Parents, don’t take your children for granted, and don’t hurt their hearts, because those bruises are not as easily healed, even with things like neosporin existing. Children, I get how you feel at times, that your parents take you for granted, because I am also a child, so remember to appreciate your children when you have them. Remember that at times parents make mistakes, and that you sometimes will take them for granted too.

To all those reading this, hearts are fragile things, don’ crush them, but heal them. Minds can take blows as well, don’t make their minds be filled with thoughts like these. Be kinder and be wiser. Look how easily a day can go from good to bad, look how easily a heart can go from content to sad, look how easily tears can well up. Treat each other with empathy, and sensibility.

Thank you for your time!

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~ by tsunamiblues on May 27, 2007.

2 Responses to “We all hurt each other…”

  1. I agree. Swords can kill us physically, but words can slay our existence in every way…physically and emotionally. My exam in psychology is tomorrow and I should be preparing myself, but instead I’m…here. By this time tomorrow my life will take a new direction. I’m scared and fear the result of hours, months, minutes and seconds of intense studying. Will I make it? God I hope so. I will be standing there waiting for a stupid grade that will let me know if I have succeeded in passing my examination. One little word will change everything. One little hiss uttered by one little person. They will have measured me, found all my flaws and then grade me over every single one of them. The axe will fall over my neck, which by that time holds my tear streaked face.

    I can’t stop thinking about all the things that can go wrong. So instead I’m not thinking at all. And not thinking at all is dangerous, since I just told my sister to bugger off and deal with her problems herself. I hurt her and now I can’t take the words back. I should have been supported and just listen to her. She is not doing very well and seeing her face crumble under my hash words makes me want to hit something. I hate hurting people.

    You are very defensive. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but I can feel it in the way you write and the way you ache. I’m like that too. I have build up all these walls and if someone tries to break them down, I get self-protective and start fighting back. People are too intimidated by other peoples pain, so they pretend that they don’t exists. I very much exist and my pain is real.

    Katrine

  2. The sad thing is that we all let our own problems get the best of us, and sometimes we get overwhelmed and hurt other people, but it is what we do after hurting someone that matters and can change the outcome of a few harsh words.

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